Colorless

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Tuesday... time flies...

Hey~

*sigh* So tiring... Yesterday especially. Dunno why. Kept sleeping. Haha! Was supposed to finish up the PBL2 report to email to Cassie (my PBL Groupmate) by night... k, not supposed. I aimed to, so today would be freer. But I went Shuxian's place to do, then the weather so nice, and I was so sleepy and all... haha! Slept on the floor in the living room with my head on the queen sized bed. 7pm, Shuxian woke me up to study. Haha! So lethargic can... wah lau... Then I read & read the stupid journals... (or articles, they're the same to me) Basically every paper implies the same thing: Lyme Disease is NOT endemic in Australia. And they all refer to the same references! Haha! So I added a few lines to my report, then started to edit the point-forms to sentences. Do do do, so xian can. So I decided to go home. Haha! Wah seh! Drizzling outside lor! Xian... how to cycle home? Can't la! So I called Daphne and asked if she could pick me up if they were gonna eat at Hawken. She said can, but they're not eating at Hawken... she's just coming to pick me. Haha! So nice... Thank you Daph! And Max, for ur car.

Got home, laid down on the sofa, watched Big Brother with Daphne, but didn't know what was going on, so I turned around & closed my eyes. The next thing I knew, it was 11pm. Haha! So I bathed & cooked instant noodles. Then do (or tried to do) my report until like 2+, then decided I'll just finish up tmr. So I slept.

Ok, what abt Saturday & Sunday? Well, I can't really remember. Oh, ya, I was reading up on PBL2's Lyme Disease. =P So lame lor. Hai... what else? Hmm... Oh ya, and I completed the logo for the church camp also. Haha! Yeah, I guess that's all I did over the weekend. How exciting...
-_-

Today went to catch some more insects. Haha! There was this beautiful butterfly that I just can't seem to catch lor. Too evasive. And it's got wings when all I've got is an arm (k, 2...) and a net. It kept fluttering around the same area so I thought it would be easy to catch it. But after I think half an hour of chasing it, it doesn't seem to be just fluttering around the same area... it actually seemed to be mocking my lousy butterfly catching skills! The lil' critter is mine, I thought to myself. But after chasing it some more, it decided to leave me & look for other more thrilling stuff. So I was stranded there with 3 butterflies. Ah wells, better than nothing.

Oh, this afternoon chatted with Dad online. I asked him if I could get a new phone: Nokia 6280. It's on offer at $10/mth for the phone on $29 Cap Plan with minimum $20 monthly spend, meaning every month, I'll be paying at least $30 for the phone & plan, for 24mths. Alright what, hor? He ask me why I want a new phone if my old phone is still fine, I said coz it's cheap. Then he said he just got a phone too... from China. Cost him S$700. Then he said up to me lor... I see how la. But he's got no money for me already, maybe I need to work part-time. I'm sorry dad. But why then did u say ok to my Melbourne & Tasmania trip? That's like $1k+ lor... Sue already booked the tix... =(

Nvm, I'm gonna start working. Maybe end of year I go back SG, then next year I don't go back liao... work here earn money better. I need the money now... not just to ease my cashflow but to ease my dad's burden too. So work becomes a neccessity. I just hope things'll be fine back home. Especially my sister... She's gotta work now to support herself, according to her. And her education has come to a stand-still... a diploma-holder. Of course, I'd want her to go further, but apparently dad doesn't have enough money for that. Shit... I feel so bad can. Do I even need this degree? And look at my choice of study? What can I do when I graduate? I dunno. *sigh* Yes, it's my interest & all, but that's all --- interest. Rice-bowl material? Doesn't seem so right now... but GOD has HIS plans for me... that I'm sure. So Father, do lead me in my choices and my life. And meanwhile, help my family to cope with life comfortably enough, if not the same as before or better. I really don't deserve this u know? Why should I be the one to study overseas? Shawn wanted to too, and so does Evelyn. I don't wanna be seen as the pampered one. I'm not pampered...
am I?

*whimpers*

Is there something wrong? He can't imagine. It could only be him... what has he done? Neglect? Yes, that must be it... Don't be blue darling, coz that blues me too. He misses her so much... aching... *sob*

"Crazy...I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely.
I'm crazy...crazy for feelin' so blue.
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted...

... and crazy for cryin',
And I'm crazy for lovin' you."

-Leann Rimes: Crazy

Love me if you dare... 17:59
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