Colorless

Monday, November 20, 2006

Back home!

*sigh*

I feel tired. Haha! But I shall blog to the best of my ability... =)

My previous entries had some details omitted... so I shall backtrack & note 'em down here:

Tuesday:
Landed at 5am... waited for the bus to arrive at 6:13am... haha! Took bus all the way home & pulled approximately 50kg in total of luggage with me home. When I pressed the bell insistently, mum opened the door & looked at me for a second or two, then she said, "Yes?" Hahahaha!!! Hilarious can! Unpacked the minimum amount & rested at home the whole day...

Wednesday:
Shocked quite a few people. Haha! Esther, Simin, Jasmine, to start with... all kinda screamed. Haha! Zitong saw me in the library & started talking loudly like he was at hawker centre. Haha! Shawn just heard from Jiashan so he wasn't all that surprised to see me. Haha! Just, a lil' maybe? Then we had dinner at S11 Hougang Plaza... haha!

Thursday:
Hmm... stayed home most of the day... until evening. Went over to Simin's place to put down my stuff, then we went for a 13.76km run starting from her place, down Upp Serangoon Rd to Serangoon Ave 3, basically followed 58's route, then reach Bishan Park 1, continued on AMK Ave 1... all the way until the cross junction between Bishan Park 1 & 2, turned right up to Ave 3, run back towards AMK MRT, then straight all the way past Ave 10, to Serangoon North, then past Hougang Stadium, turned right at SRJC all the way up back to her house. Super big round. Haha!

Friday:
Didn't do much. Basically went to Bras Basah to buy plaster of Paris so I can make my own killing jar... *rubs hands together in anticipation* After that just went to Shawn's house to play with Ian & see Phi. Haha!

Saturday:
Hmm... went Shawn's house again in the afternoon, played with Ian with Jo & Jasmine. Then at 3:40pm like that, we went for 小組 in church lor. After that, went Bishan eat dinner, then go back to Shawn's house to wait for Shawn come back coz 3 of us are gonna run! In the end, managed to psycho Zhixiang to run also, but he's just gonna run from Shawn's house to his house, then go home le. Haha! That night, we ran 13.32km in total... I told Shawn it's shorter. Haha! It appears it's nearly the same... *phew* Jo was saying if it was less than 10km, it's a wasted training day. Haha! But hey! Look Jo! 400m less and u improved like 25min! Haha! Told u we ran faster... *grin* Oh ya, the route was Lor Ah Soo to Upp PL, down to Bartley Rd, turn right up Bartley until Braddell Rd, then until RI there, turn up towards J8, up till Bishan Park 1, then turn onto AMK Ave 1, up Boundary Rd, all the way till we hit Lor Ah Soo again. Another apparently big round! Yay!

Sunday:
As expected, surprised everyone else who haven't already seen me. But they all say like Bingjun lor! Wah lau... so annoying. K, not annoying... just, abit irritated la. *sigh* Can't we both have the same kind of taste and pattern? He's just got a year ahead of me to do things that I would have done even if he didn't lor. I'm not following him can! And no, I'm not gonna stop doing things I like just to prove I'm not following him. If everyone still wants to think I'm following him with respect to style & fashion (or the lack thereof, which is apparently how many many ppl feel), go ahead, I don't care. I'm me, and I won't stop being me just because other's don't think so. *bleah* U all just don't know me that well, it seems.

Went to Marina Square... Didn't tag along with the youngsters (yes, I'm old already). Gin Gin gave Mike, Doris & myself a treat at 店小二... haha! Some duck dish, some mixed vege thingy, this fried bean curd thing, and char siew! Haha! 謝謝真真老師!

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Today, had lunch with Wendy at Pastamania at Cineleisure. Dinner with Shi Ting & Wendy at Far East Plaza at Sakura. Haha! Shi Ting bought a new phone! Wah seh... K610m or something like that. Haha! I also want a new phone... =( Anyways, we just walked around abit till the shops all close... haha!

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I'm not the bestest guy there is... but I have to stand up in my own defence. I do try to be nice, I try my best to please... I do things for others unconditionally, I don't expect returns, I don't wish for retribution, I try to love everyone, I try to include everyone, I try to be tactful, I try to be as patient & concerned as I can, I listen more than I talk... Yet, it seems I exude an aura of nonchalance & insensitivity? Perhaps I'm just not as understood as I'd like to be. No wait, maybe I don't wanna be understood by just anyone.... just those close to me. So it's ok if ppl say stuff about me that are not true.

But it hurts if someone close to me judges me incorrectly. It hurts if someone close to me isn't telling me everything I need to know. It hurts if what I don't know causes me to not do anything when I ought to have done something should I have known about it. And it hurts even more when it's in the past, where I have no power to change the course of things, nor the effects things might have on people around me.

I'm not Mr Perfect... People make mistakes. If I've made a mistake that should not have been forgiven, yet has been, would I not have been more thankful? In the same light is Jesus' death for us. We are but the dust of the earth, yet he died for us... the fools who aren't thankful for their sins cleansed. I'm not Mr Perfect but I'm no fool. I do not need reminders that I should be thankful. You wouldn't understand the things I've been through unless you were me. You're not. Don't put me down further... I'm compressable but every spring breaks at some point. And then it just doesn't spring as well anymore... =( *ouch*

我真的真的好愛妳。如果我有讓妳懷疑過我的愛，真對不起。妳肯原諒我過去愚蠢的錯嗎？如果妳原諒不了，我也明白，我也理解。雖然很不願意，我會退出，我會從妳生命中消失。妳只需要狠狠地叫我離開。記得要狠。*sobs*

Love me if you dare... 23:55
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