Colorless

Monday, January 08, 2007

I dunno what to type for a title.

Hi! The past few days have been quite boring... Nothing interesting. I can't even remember where I went. Haha! I just remember that I've been going out most of the time without any footwear. Yep! Barefooted. Hahas! It's quite comfortable... really. U get to feel all kinds of ground you're on. Yeah yeah, I know... it can be quite disgusting, especially in public toilets & hawker centres & places like that... sticky & wet with GOD knows what. But I guess it's all in the mind eh? Haha! If u can overcome it in ur mind, u can overcome it with your feet!

Went to IKEA Tampines yesterday for a walk. Haha! It seems huger than the Queensway one... is it? I think so... or maybe it's just because of the crowd then the pace just becomes slower. *shrugs* Whatever. There were SO-O-O many humans la! *tsk tsk* But nvm la... it was huge enough to be still walkable. *grin* Some of the beds were so comfortable! There was a point when I just laid there & wished I could sleep there & then. Hahas!

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Am I shutting myself out? Sometimes, I just don't feel like I belong. My enthusiasm just seemed to dwindle. I become so passive. I hate that I'm like that... yet at the same time, I don't feel enough to want to pike my enthusiasm. Yes yes, I laugh & play & stuff at times... but I wonder if those were real or superficial.

Does everyone go through a stage like this?

Am I alone?

Hello? *echos*

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Why do u need to split into 2? Is there someone who needs you? Binghui? Edwin? Chuan Lian? If someone else needs you, go to him/her? I'll be ok... really.

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It's been almost a week. I feel so empty inside. You see me being down & out, and you ask me why. How can I say? Isn't it obvious that it's because I need to hold you close to me? Isn't it obvious that without you, my life has become drab & dull? And yet, I will not allow myself to become weak-willed. I know you need time & space. It may seem that I've been trying to push u away, or push myself away from you. I only do this to ease my pain... to wallow in self-pity & drown myself in rhetorical questions. I'm sorry if the times u spent with me are dragging your spirits down. I don't want to do that. You have SO-O-O many other friends to lift your spirits up. Please go to them.

200m ! (: says:
haha. see? i told you nobody likes me
chuanlian says:
i love you lehs! hahahahaha
chuanlian says:
dont say that nobody likes you hor!

i love you too!

I told you. =P You think you're me ah?

Take your time ok? I'll be waiting for the day to come. But don't do it because I'm so down in the dumps. Do it because you truly can accept me.

"Nobody likes me.
Everybody hates me.
I'm gonna eat some worms.

CHORUS:
Long, slim slimy ones,
Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

First you get a bucket.
Then you get a shovel.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

First you pull the heads off.
Then you suck the guts out.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

Down goes the first one.
Down goes the second one.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one.
Up comes the second one.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

Everybody likes me.
Nobody hates me.
Why did I eat those worms?"

K, the last stanza doesn't stand for me...

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Guess I'm all alone eh?

I love you.
I wanted to say go away, but I know if you do, I'll just die. =(

Love me if you dare... 10:24
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