Colorless

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Back in Brisbane

Hey everybody!

Y'know what?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

And to everyone else,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Been back in Brisbane for 5 days now... It's been an ok 5 days la, I'd say. I'll paste what I typed on the plane first...

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Hi! I'm currently on the plane. Can't get to sleep... it's 4:30am in Singapore & 6:30am in Australia. I'm somewhere in between lor.

A few hours ago, I was quite surprised so many people came to see me off. Although I know some just tag along with the others, I'm nevertheless appreciative of everyone's presence. Now let me see if I can remember everyone... Met Esther first, then Damien, then Shawn & Jiashan, mum, sis, aunt, Bernice, Simin, Yanen, Yanxin, Joshua, Norman, Zhixiang, Zu'An, Eugene, Zitong, Dexter, Xinying, and though I didn't talk to them, Priscillia, Edwin & Binghui. Lastly, Melisa, with all the New Year goodies. Did I miss anyone out? Let's wait for Yanen to send me the photos. =) And ya, people who called me or SMS me: Sihui (hope you're feeling better), Wendy, Jasmine, Loraine & Laverne, Sikai, Carolyn, Yunting, Doris, Eunice and of course, Mao (get well soon ya?).

Leaving was quite a rushed affair, especially when there're SO many people. Didn't get to talk very much to people I really wanted to talk to. Abit regretful that somehow so many people turned up. I hope I don't sound ungrateful... I'm not. I just would've preferred a more silent & peaceful & personal farewell, even if it's just a couple of my close friends (i.e. Bernice, Simin & Esther).

On the plane, once I settle in my seat, I guess the fact that I'm leaving my beloved friends started sinking in (and I suspect it's not fully sunken either)... and it hit me hard. Short & hard, like the impact of a paintball, I suspect. My tears welled up & started cruising down the contours of my painfully twisted face... and the tears that didn't make it to cascade down my face started clogging up my nose with mucus. Sniffling & staring out the window at the viewing mall... I must've been so embarrassing.

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I'm sorry I can't be with you. I can't describe how I'm feeling inside. I'm so torn. I want to stay, yet I have to leave. I really wanted to hug & hold you, but everyone's there... argh! I hate it that we have to be like that... I really do hate it... *heart aches* Yes we do not have much of a choice. We will be judged & people will look at us with those eyes. Since when do I care what people think, you ask me. I don't, really. But if I were to be who I am, you would be the one left to face the judging stares & disapproving looks all by yourself. No. I want to face it with you.

I'm sorry I neglected you. I guess I ended up 丟妳在一邊。 Sorry. Will you forgive me? *pleading eyes brimming with tears*

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所謂，紙是抱不住火的。熊熊焚燒的愛情的烈火，又能隱藏得了多久？事到如今，好像已經很多人聽到謠言了，卻不能肯定。最奇怪的是∶怎麽大人也知道？難道我們在教會裏會很明顯嗎？我們都很少講話，很少接觸到。或則又難道我們在外頭讓別人看見了？若是這樣，爲何要通風報信，好像我們做錯了事這樣。

隨便啦…反正是遲早的事，早點知道好像比較好。

那天，她的父母叫我出來談一談，聊聊天。我知道其實是要問我我們倆的事。感覺好像在interview這樣∶說錯話就完了，給坏印象也完了。但是我覺得做自己最好，不可撒謊，否則會越描越黑。不知道他們對我的印象如何。及格嗎？好像沒反對哦…那應該是好現象吧?

我現在只能靠上帝的幫助和帶領，使我們的感情更加地加深，更加地與上帝聯係。

求主幫助我們。

I want to hug you. I want to hold you in my arms & comfort you. To sayang you as you lay your head on my shoulder. To wipe away your tears & kiss away your fears. Please wait for me... I'll be home soon...

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Ok... so I reached Brisbane on Saturday morning. Took some photos before I landed... =)

These are ice crystals formed on my window. See the small hole there? The air outside was -40°C when I took this shot. =)

Waited for Jared to come pick me up, then came to my new house. Haha! Quite nice la... just that the rooms abit smaller than I expected lor. But on the whole it's still ok I guess? Got swimming pool leh! Hahaha!

Anyways, Sunday morning I couldn't get up... sharks. By the time I woke up, service already over already. In the end, waited for Vivian's 2 friends to come over (they're staying here temporarily) then brought them out for lunch & go around the place abit. Late afternoon came home, we decided to go for a swim in the swimming pool! Haha! K la, it's a very modest pool... but we still had some fun! =) Put my AquaPac (which I bought on the 9th for my camera) to the test!!!

Then later that night, we asked DL & George & their cousin & her friend to come over our place for KFC. Haha! So there were like 9 people? Ya... eat eat, talk talk... around 10+, DL they all go home (oh he move house too! Very near us!) then we went up Mt Cootha to show Vinoth & Edwin the view of Brisbane city! There we took some silly poses also... haha! As usual...

Last night went to Darren & Eileen's house for a surprise birthday celebration for Mei! Haha! It was a fun night la... wah, pot-luck, everybody bring food... alot lor! When everybody full already, haha! They made me eat grapes! They were like, guessing how many grapes can be squeezed into my mouth without bursting! Guess how many? I'm surprised myself lor... haha! 20! Each grape is about the size of the top digit of my thumb. =D The photos are with Eileen... waiting for her to upload or send to me. Haha!

Then after that we played games on Darren's GameCube. I think we played WarioWorld or something like that... haha! Oh yes, it was a fun night...

And then, that night after I reached home, at 12am, Sue, Jared, Vinoth & Edwin celebrated my birthday for me! Yay!!! Haha! See! They bought a white chocolate cake for me! And then decorated with Starburst jellybeans! Thank you guys!!! =)

K, we went Cybercity to have dinner, then went to La Dolce Vita (Little Paris) for a drink. I know you guys mean well la... but I guess I wasn't exactly happy also. Sorry. It's just different when you see everyone coupled together & everywhere has beautiful, romantic ambience, and nice music floating in the air... it's just... different... especially when you're alone.

I miss you so very much. This is torture... argh!!! =( I wanna hold you in my arms & whisper sweet words into your ear... I wanna kiss you & tell you how much I love you, even though I cannot put it into words... But all I can do is emit sound waves...

Love me if you dare... 18:30
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