Sunday, October 28, 2007
Life sucks...
Life right now sucks.
I don't like my part-time job.
I can't do the things I like to do.
I want to go back to Brisbane but can't because I got no money.
Bloody airlines don't display their AVAILABLE or UNBOOKED dates.
I can't play golf.
I'm on the wrong frequency.
I'm grumpy.
I'm full of shit.
I'm a good-for-nothing.
I'm not close to GOD.
I'm a habitual sinner.
GOD's not close to me.
I left my church.
I'm a loner.
I got a degree that can't land me a proper job in Singapore.
My room has been a mess since my poly days.
I'm at a cold war with my sister.
I'm unaccomplished at everything I do.
Need more?
I'm still living in the aftermath of a relationship wrecked by my own hands.
*edit* I don't know if I'm ready to commit into another one yet.
I'm not willing to commit into another one yet.
I keep people waiting.
I have to put up a facade with whomever I meet.
I can't get a job back in Brisbane.
I smile with a rotten life.
I pretend everything's ok and will pass.
Tell me, doesn't life suck?
Love me
if you
dare...
23:57
0 thoughts on this post
Golf?!
But I can't play golf! How? =(
I can't even play soccer! What kind of guy can't play soccer?! *pffft*
-.-
"u'll prob end up playing with her dad and my dad.. and some other dads
ahahahahahaaha
and maybe my future bf
AHAHAHAH"
Great...
Love me
if you
dare...
15:28
0 thoughts on this post
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Lazing at home...
They should be gathering to kayak right now... *bleah*
And tonight, Jun & Karen would be going for the "Just In: Timber & Lake" concert... haha! Karen! I know it's too late to blog now but, DON'T STRIP IN FRONT OF HIM!!! =D
Anyways, the morning has been a lazy, cooling one... The intention was to go Upper Peirce with Shi Ting to take photos... She needed a morning call at 7, so I woke up at 7 to call her... When I woke up at 7:30am, the sky was seriously overcast, so I called her again and found out it was pouring in Yishun... So there, photoshoot cancelled... *sigh*
Yesterday, I sorted out 93 photos for my supposed-portfolio. The theme is Tiny Nature, or something along those lines... mostly macros of insects and flowers, occasionally small reptiles. I wanna get more photos before developing them and buying a proper album for it. So yes, more macro outings! Anyone wanna join me? =)
Speaking of photoshoots, Bingjun & I just accompanied Anqi last Sunday to hunt for her camera. She settled (wisely, I must say) on Fujifilm, deciding between the F40fd and the F50fd. She, of course, was leaning towards the F40 while I, being more of a photo enthusiast than her, was leaning toward the F50, which has more manual controls and better picture processing. The price difference: $30. I don't understand why she'd want a lower spec-ed camera for $30 less... haha! But oh wells, to each his (her) own... Of course, once she decided on the F40, we hunted around for the lowest price for that cam... and we settled for what was it, $430? Camera, screen protector, 2GB SD card (yes! Fuji has incorporated the use of BOTH SD & xD!), extra battery that would theoretically last longer than the original, and a soft case. Not a bad deal, I must say... 8MP (right?) and SuperCCD... nice. =)
And my dad bought my mum a laptop! Hahaha! Gosh! It's Vista! She's still ultra unsure of XP and now she wants to jump to Vista?! I can't help her much on that coz I don't like Vista... Oh wells, too bad. Haha! So right now, my desktop is being reset to factory settings. For what? I don't know. Everyone has a laptop now... so the desktop is quite redundant actually. 256MB RAM only... I think I'll use it for playing games... haha! Those old school games that don't require much RAM... Puzzle Fighter!!! And hmm... Twinsen? Dungeon Keeper? TIM (read: The Incredible Machine)! Ermm... Crusader, Marble Drop, Crystal Caves, Bitmap Brothers: Magic Pockets, Loderunner, Bug!... etc etc. Yep!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hmm... tonight Bernice is treating us to dinner, coz she got her first spendable paycheck. So nice of her hor? I wonder if I'd ever do that.
Last week I told her I'd come, but today, I don't feel very people-y... I just wanna be alone... and... *sigh* I wanna take photos. Maybe I should've gone to the Botanical Gardens with Shawn & Jiashan & Phi & Ian... But if Ian followed me around, he'd chase away all the insects. Haha! And they'd be stuck at the new playground mostly. No... maybe I'll ask Shi Ting if she wants to go later...
Back to my emotions... Is there an explanation why sometimes we (coz I know it's not just me) just wanna be alone? I can't think of any except maybe, coz we often spend time with acquaintances and them being acquaintances, we are superficial... and we just need some time to be natural... be ourselves, let our guard down... Psychological release?
I'm thinking too much, aren't I?
I wanna cycle... Ubin... *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh! Meiji Fresh Milk tastes oh-h-h so yummy! I'm thinking if in future, I should just stick to Meiji or try out the other brands. It's creamy and milky and... and... cow-y? Haha! I dunno... it's the closest I can find that tastes anything like Woolies or Coles milk. Haha! At 2x the price though...
And I still love Fruity Pebbles! So artificial! So sweet! Like Froot Loops... haha!
K, if u realize, I'm just typing because I have nothing else to do already.
I shall go tend to my desktop.
G'bye!
Love me
if you
dare...
12:18
0 thoughts on this post
Friday, October 26, 2007
Blasted Internet
"I don't know what it is that makes me love you so,
I only know I never want to let you go.
'Cause you started something, can't you see,
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me.
It happens to be true,
I only want to be with you.
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do,
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you.
Look what has happened with just one kiss,
I never knew that I could be in love like this.
It's crazy but it's true,
I only want to be with you.
You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance.
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance.
Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere,
As long as we're together, honey I don't care.
'Cause you started something, can't you see?
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me.
No matter what you do,
I only want to be with you.
No matter what you do,
I only want to be with you..."
-Vonda Shepard: I Only Want To Be With You
Yes it's true. I've been a jerk in the past. Now if you want me still, I'm gonna try hard, even if it's great pains I have to go through... coz by GOD's will and strength, I can do all that HE desires.
Forgive me my past, forgive me my present. I only want to be with you...
Love me
if you
dare...
22:20
0 thoughts on this post
Tears in her eyes...
"She's an Extraordinary girl
In an ordinary world,
And she cant seem to get away.
He lacks the courage in his mind,
Like a child left behind,
Like a pet left in the rain.
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes.
Some days he feels like dying;
She gets so sick of crying.
She sees the mirror of herself
And image she wants to sell
To anyone willing to buy.
He steals the image in her kiss,
From her heart's apocalypse,
From the one called whatsername.
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes.
Some days he feels like dying;
She gets so sick of crying.
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes.
Some days he feels like dying,
Some days he's not worth trying.
Now that they're both up on it,
She gets so sick of crying.
She's an Extraordinary girl...
An Extraordinary girl...
An Extraordinary girl...
An Extraordinary girl..."
-Green Day: Extraordinary Girl
"... Your day breaks, your mind aches.
There will be time when all the things she said will fill your head;
You won't forget her.
And in her eyes you see nothing.
No sign of love behind the tears,
Cried for no one,
A love that should have lasted years!"
-The Beatles: For No One
"... Staring at the world,
Staring at the sky,
Now she's waiting for so long,
Teardrops running down her face.
Only the wind knows her pain.
Waiting all the time,
waiting for so long
Tears in her eyes,
Tears in her eyes.
Walking slowly through
The woods to the sea,
The wind is caressing her hair.
Waves will carry all her sorrows away,
Give her a place to be free.
Longing for the stars,
Longing for the light.
Now her mind seems to be free.
Free from sorrow, free from pain.
All her tears have run dry.
Waited all the time,
waited for so long.
With tears in her eyes,
Tears in her eyes."
-Moonshine: Tears in Her Eyes
"An image of you,
Staring at me,
Tears in your eyes,
Pain in your heart.
It shoots through me,
It kills my heart,
It triggers and brings
Tears to my eyes.
I wake with a start,
I start to cry.
My pillow soaks,
My nostrils flood.
Now you start
Haunting my dreams."
-Kane: Haunt
Love me
if you
dare...
09:19
0 thoughts on this post
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Kim Possible...
"Ron, you're weird."
"Ki-i-im..."
"Shh... I like weird."
*imagines KP smile at Ron*
Awww... *melts*
Love me
if you
dare...
22:01
0 thoughts on this post
Need to blog...
I need to blog now or I'll never blog again...
Ok, maybe not so... but it's been ultra-long since I last blogged...
Anyways, the days have been pretty mundane. And if only Scott O'Neill could see this part of my life, he'd know I totally fulfilled the criteria to "willing to do mundane tasks to a high standard." Like I told Jun just now, the idea of quitting ever crossed my mind... in fact, more than once... because it's tiring and boring... and I think for the amount of work I'm doing, I deserve more than $50 a day. Haha! But well, I can't just drop out when it feels boring... it won't look very good on me would it? Oh wells... till I find a better job...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
They're gonna go kayaking this weekend! Wah lau... I wanna go-o-o-o... not for the kayaking, but more of the "who" kayaking will be with... *sigh*
Every morning when I sit down at the kitchen table, with my breakfast spread before me, I think of communcal brunch... signature meal when I stay over at the Manors... which, actually, is quite alot... (quite is an understatement) Unfortunately, it's just communal with the wall... and a pile of old newspapers. I have almost the same ingredients: fresh milk, bread, peanut butter, jam, butter knife, plate, cup... sometimes breakfast cereal. The most important ingredient missing is the people. *sigh*
Nobody knows how I feel... So helpless. *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
And on Monday morning, which was the start of your O's, I thought of you, but I can't even send you an SMS to wish you all the best. This will be over in a couple of weeks, but when the time comes, would I have the courage to face you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't my life such a screw-up? Why do you still love me? I simply cannot understand... *sigh*
I miss you...
"We'll do it all,
Everything
On our own.
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone.
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel,
Those three words
Are said too much,
They're not enough.
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old,
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads.
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own.
All that I am,
All that I ever was,
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.
I don't know where,
Confused about how as well.
Just know that these things will never change for us at all.
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
-Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars
"Put your head on my shoulder.
Hold me in your arms, baby.
Squeeze me oh so tight,
Show me that you love me too.
Put your lips next to mine, dear.
Won't you kiss me once, baby.
Just a kiss goodnight, maybe
You and I will fall in love.
People say that love's a game,
A game you just can't win.
If there's a way,
I'll find it someday,
And then this fool will rush in.
Put your head on my shoulder.
Whisper in my ear, baby,
Words I want to hear,
Tell me, tell me that you love me too.
Put your head on my shoulder.
Whisper in my ear, baby,
Words I want to hear, baby,
Put your head on my shoulder."
-Paul Anka: Put Your Head On My Shoulder
Oh, how I wish...
Love me
if you
dare...
19:14
0 thoughts on this post
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wow!
Ok... after my first post yesterday, I HAVE to say this today. Haha!
It's so amazing! I think GOD is super high-tech la! I think he read my blog!!! And well, I got more than I bargained for... haha!
Yep! HE read my blog and so, today at work, that guy didn't come. So I had to do the job of scanning the packages & boxes and deciding where to put them. Just nice, this morning was like rush hour coz apparently there were a few batches of goods to be sent out to Malaysia by 10am, I think. Or maybe it was 12. But anyways, the packing stations were churning out packages so-o-o fast that everytime I finish off one station, it becomes loaded again, piled up so high most of them are taller than me. And it's like that for all 4 stations. And then, they hired yet another guy. Haha! Craziness, I tell u. So this guy was put "under" me... so mostly I just told him to get the packages off the counter so the packing stations have space for more. Then like, just tell him, oh this one go where, that one go where, then pack them so we can have as much stock on a pallet as possible, WITHOUT them toppling over... and he was cool! He's had experience in a warehouse, so yeah, glad I had him. I'm just afraid like, don't want him to have the impression that I'm just scanning the barcodes then I'm leaving all the heavy stuff to him, so I try to scan most of them on the counter, then help him to move them over to the respective pallets.
So I learnt more stuff today, about how to operate the scanner thingy. Yay! But after lunch, things wound down quite abit. The new guy & I were just standing around waiting for the packing stations to throw something out. It got so slow we were taking boxes one by one... haha! And then the new guy got taken away to do other stuff, coz I'm able to handle whatever's there myself. Since all 4 counters has no packages coming out, I went to one of the packing counters to help in the packing... pack until there's a huge pile of boxes, then I started scanning and stuff again. And then dunno why, suddenly every counter is churning out boxes like nobody's business again! So there I was scanning, pushing, carrying, piling, arranging boxes all over the place... haha! And suddenly, it was time to go. I was quite xian of the whole day so I decided not to do OT. =) Tired sia. Everyday my legs will be so sour. And everyday I'll get a new cut somewhere. Haha!
Ok, there. I'm done for today. I think I should go sleep now. Tired...
G'night! =)
Love me
if you
dare...
23:28
0 thoughts on this post
Fine, it's me.
It's not that I don't wanna share. I just don't like to feel vulnerable k? But I guess I need to learn to open up. I know it's fundamental in a relationship.
And though I hate to be predictable, I have to admit some things about me are just so predictable. I'm not different from any other guy to break down and analyze am I?
So yes, it was me. How did I do it? Before everything started, of course. So yes, if you feel the need to thank me, you can do so now. Otherwise, I just wanted people to know that someone cares for them. I don't expect, nor do I ask for thanks or praise. I don't want people to know because I don't want people to say oh, I'm just doing this because I want everyone to see how nice I am and how much time & effort I put in and everything. I am unable to show care and concern in person because you know there are just some people whom you can talk to more than others... because of common interests, common topics to talk about, interesting differences etc... Anyways, I give up. Y'all don't have to guess anymore. It's me.
I don't know who it is this time round... obviously it can't be me. I'm back here in Singapore. So looks like I'm off the hook. Go back to your guessing game then. I can't help u now.
~~~~~~~~~~
Am I really working too hard? Is a couple of OT hours putting my health at risk? I know I have never told you the nature of my work in detail... I'm sorry about that. My bad. So lemme tell you now...
I work in a warehouse. I pack cosmetic orders into boxes to be delivered to wherever... Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, blah blah blah... and of course, locally, it'd be the department stores the likes of Isetan, Takashimaya, OG... And with Christmas coming up in a couple of months, where Christmas sales and promotions flood the windows of shopping malls, stores have to ensure they have enough supplies for the crazy shoppers of Christmas time. So apparently, this is a busy period in the warehouse... we need to pack alot of cosmetics to ship around the world (well, not literally of course).
Yet, you can often find me standing around, looking for something to do. It's not very nice to just sit somewhere or stand somewhere blankly, waiting for people to ask you to do something then u do right? Ok, maybe some people have absolutely no qualms about that, but I feel guilty, I feel bad for getting paid for nothing! And with lazy, incompetant, stupid people around, things aren't as gleeful as I am. It's a boring mundane job, but it still needs a high standard of work what! Why can't they let someone more enthusiastic do the work? Hell, I bet I can do the work of myself and that other guy la... yet, I'm always left with nothing to do. I might as well quit since they don't require manpower as much as they think they do... Tell me, or tell them, if you think that way too, Pinky...
Thus, my ex-decision to work overtime as much as possible, to earn the 150% of my salary, and to actually contribute to the company... to make up for the waste of time in the day, as well as the waste of salary on me. But it's ok, really. I can shut my conscience up and work just the normal hours and be completely guilt-free. Guys can do that y'know? Compartmentalized emotional thresholds... just like girls have compartmentalized stomachs...
So yes, I'll work OT till 7, latest 8 tmr... then never again, k? I'm not spiteful... really. I just don't understand. And I'm sorry too that I didn't explain it to you clearly before. But I'll not work too much ok?
*hugs* Good night... sweet dreams... Nathaniel maybe? =)
Love me
if you
dare...
00:49
0 thoughts on this post
Monday, October 15, 2007
GRRR!!!
I've gotta say this man...
Who ever thought I would be faced with a rebuke for working too fast?! In Singapore some more! Wah lau! Yes, I didn't type wrongly. Someone say I work too fast. I think he wasn't very happy but he tried to be friendly. *bleah*
K, I think Bingjun knows this la... but if he doesn't, he will after reading this. Haha!
This guy I was supposed to work with at the warehouse, he's in charge of scanning the barcodes on boxes of packed cosmetics that are to be shipped out, to either other countries or locally, to all the big shopping malls. My job is to move these boxes from the packing counters to the pallets that they're assigned to. And to know which pallets each carton is assigned to, he needs to scan it first... So, there he is, taking his own sweet time to scan, and sometimes just standing around looking at the boxes already on the pallets for GOD-only-knows-what. No, the packing counters aren't empty. On the contrary, they're so full the packers there had to put their packages on the floor. One of them even brought her own pallet behind her so she needn't wait for us to move it away!
And there I was, standing around, not being able to do anything, keep having to bug my supposed in-charge for things to do, which he doesn't too coz he's got his own hands occupied too. And you know when there are things to do but only you can do because only you know what's going on and stuff, and only you know where things are and where they need to be? Ya, I think he's like that. And I don't blame him (supposed IC) because he's a nice guy & he's hardworking.
BUSY PERIOD IN THE WAREHOUSE AND I'M STANDING AROUND WITH NOTHING TO DO!!!
Anyways, there were twice when the scanner guy had to go away for abit... once to make a phone call, once to answer nature's call. These 2 times, he handed me the scanner to do abit of work la. And not that I want to hao lian or what, but each time he went away & passed me the scanner, I managed to clear the packages at all four packing counters! Can you imagine that? All four before he came back! It's not that I work fast lor. It's just... HE WORKS SLOW! *sigh* I think ah, if this goes on, as in, I always have nothing much to do, and I find another job elsewhere, I'm gonna quit. And if the boss happens to ask me why, I'm gonna say because I always have nothing to do and I don't wanna waste my time. Actually, before I do that, I wanna ask if I, being a part-time worker, am able to come as I please. Of course, I'd let someone know if I'm not coming la. I have a feeling that they might allow, but then again, I'm always known to be overly optimistic. =)
There, I splat it out... *phew*
Went to Shawn's place to get my NB shoes. Haha! I didn't know they cost $42 sia! But I've got credits on my 11B! Yay! Free shoes!
But free shoes on Monday comes at a price. Shawn is teaching tuition today... and it's the sec 4's... so... yes, I saw her. Well, not her her. Just her legs. Yes, I can recognize her by her legs. So I had to phone Shawn & ask him to bring my shoes out for me to try outside la. I wasn't that affected today as I had been in the past Sundays la... but I really hope that she's sleeping and didn't realize I was there, and that she didn't hear my voice & be affected.
*sigh*
Avoidance isn't a solution... but it delays the need for one, albeit painfully.
Anyways, I shall not dwell on the pain... (oh, I've got physical pain too... splinters & tiny cuts. Haha!) Free shoes free shoes... now I can go running!
Running away from reality... heh heh heh... *grin*
(edit)
Oh, and for the record, I went groceries shopping and bought multi-grain bread, Smucker's Goober Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly spread, and 1L Meiji Low Fat milk to go with my Post Pebbles cereal... all under the influence of the girls at Manors... except for the Post Pebbles cereal... =P Miss you all... and communal too... free jam spreading service... =) *sigh*
Love me
if you
dare...
22:59
0 thoughts on this post
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Purest of Pain...
*sigh*
Feel like dying. I really need to get out of Singapore.
So many things remind me of us...
Today we went to Singapore Post for dinner after xiaozu. At the Kopitiam, guess what? I saw Carona Chicken. And I remembered that your sister loved that, and you always buy that for her for lunch. And you know this pain, it just pierces me... Yes, I'm quite sure you know this pain. Because it's the exact same thing you went through half a year ago... and I wasn't even there for you.
As I was bathing just now, I can't help but wonder if I should even salvage a friendship between us. Probably not because there's just too many bitter-sweet memories between us.
I'm sorry...
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I coudn't fight it,
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it,
And so I surrendered just to hear your voice.
I know how many times I said
I'm gonna to live without you.
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you,
But there is something baby, that you need to know.
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying.
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking...
Vida*, give me back my fantasies,
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.
Carino mio**, my world's become so empty,
My days are so cold and lonely,
And each night I taste
The purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day,
That it didn't hurt me when you walked away,
But to tell you the truth, I can't find my way.
And deep inside me I feel like I'm dying,
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking..."
Son By Four: Purest of Pain
* vida: I tried searching for the meaning of "vida" but only Spanish made sense. Hence, in Spanish, "vida" means "life".
** carino mio: Same thing... but apparently Babelfish doesn't have a Spanish translation. Hence, in Italian, "carino mio" says "pretty my", which probably means "my pretty". *shrugs*
"我无法帮你预言
委曲求全有没有用，
可是我多么不舍
朋友爱的那么苦痛。
爱可以不问对错
至少有喜悦感动。
如果他总为别人撑伞，
你何苦非为他等在雨中？
泡咖啡让你暖手，
想挡挡你心口里的风，
你却想上街走走
吹吹冷风会清醒的多。
你说你不怕分手
只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了，
剩自己一个。
其实爱对了人，
情人节每天都过。
分手快乐，祝你快乐，
你可以找到更好的。
不想过冬，厌倦沉重，
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳。
分手快乐，请你快乐，
挥别错的才能和对的相逢。
离开旧爱像坐慢车，
看透彻了心就会是晴朗的。
没人能把谁的幸福没收。
你发誓你会活的有笑容。
你自信时候真的美多了。"
-梁靜茹：分手快樂
Love me
if you
dare...
21:22
0 thoughts on this post
Hmm...
So, I started work with Bingjun yesterday. It was quite fun working in the Estee Lauder warehouse. Haha! It's hell for girls to be working there... all the cosmetics & what-not in the world but not a single one to bring home. Haha! Lemme see, there's Bobbi Brown, Clinique, DKNY, Tommy, Lab Series, Origin, Estee Lauder... k, these are just some names that I remember packing or passing the shelves.
Well, at least now if the zoo calls to say I don't get hired, I'm already working someplace else that probably pays higher than the zoo.
Oh, I say I might not be hired because before me was a guy called Daniel who's already a Wildlife Guide in the Night Safari. And he's looking to work the same thing in the zoo as well, so with the experience he's had, he just might get it. Some more there's the possibility of me staying here for about 3months or so only... why would they wanna train me for about a month, only to have me work for 2 more months then quit?
Anyways, I finally emailed Scott O'Neill my coverletter, resume and a statement showing how I've fulfilled the selection criteria required of the Insectary Technician post in his lab. Actually, I really want this job because the contract is for 3 years... just nice y'know? Haha! Ya... mmm... 3 years probably can get me my PR already, but 3 years is also a time for me to fit in long-term into the Australian lifestyle, for me to think and consider if I really want to be a PR or just keep looking for jobs that are willing to sponsor me, kinda like Louis. And 3 years would let me continue to be with people like Mel, Yujun, Karen, Vic, Felicia, Jasmine, Debbie, Louis, Jessica, Cheryl... and recently I heard that Jonathan has been more expressive of his lamer side... so him too. And ST, if he somehow becomes less patriotic & wants to work here in Australia. Of course, the list isn't exhaustive. There's Emily & James & Max & Julia & William & Pauline... and Rad & Joanna & Sarah & Mas? Hahaha!
Aiyah... of course, all these are IF I get the job at UQ.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's been a few bugging issues in my mind the past couple of days. But right now, I'm just too worn out to want to think about them, much less blog about them.
*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Went to Wendy's place last night to start & finish up a puzzle we (Jo, Carolyn & myself) bought her for a birthday present. Hahaha! I gotta say this: I told her not to buy so many snacks: chips, chips, chips, ice-cream... but she was like, no no no, you all come my house, I must at least have something to offer you all mah! And I was like, no lor, I bet in the end nobody will eat one lor. Everyone will be busy doing the puzzle...
True enough, at the end of the night, Wendy had stomach pains after eating an ice-cube and went to bed at... say, 1+? We finished the 500 piece puzzle of Ariel & Flounder at 2:15am. Took some pictures, glued the pieces together, then the 3 of us sat down for a little chit chat... Soon after, say 3? Carolyn slept in the living room and Joanna & I read Her World magazines that are full of thrash. By then, only 2 packets of chips were eaten, plus 1 500mL tub or Choc-Mint Chip ice-cream finished by yours truly. Haha!
Woke up at about 7 when Wendy's parents woke up. Helped Wendy frame up her puzzle, hang it, then installed Photoshop for her, then we left her place at 8. Got home at 9 (surprisingly long journey but still cheaper than MRT) and slept till 1. Haha! The intention was to wake at 11 but I didn't have much to do so I just kept on sleeping. The only thing that roused my sleep was the nagging thought that I might just oversleep and be late or miss xiaozu altogether.
So here I am. =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Was I right, was I wrong?
A little too weak, a little too strong?
Was it him, was it me?
Oh, I guess I'll never know.
Well, you're up then you're down,
Oh, but the world keeps turnin' around.
Ain't it hard to find
Somethin' to hang on to?
But I know that my heart will mend,
And I know that I'll smile again.
I'll get back on my feet and then
I'll do it all over again!
Some you lose, some you win;
They say that's the way it's always been.
First you laugh, then you cry,
Oh, but I guess that's life.
So you live and you learn,
And never look back at the bridges you burned.
And you change somehow,
Oh, I'm a little bit wiser now
I'll do it all over again."
-Crystal Gayle: I'd Do It All Over Again
"Thrust the candle to the dark of your disease,
Burn the fishplate, execute ill memories.
Labyrinth of sympathy in which I'm lost and can't leave.
And too much truth overshadows the limelight,
Cos' what lies beneath the clouds is an
Altered perception and I'll pay for sanity,
But sanity don't come cheap!
You don't know the truth and I love your life.
You don't know the truth and I love your life!
Cos' you don't know the truth and I love your life.
Flinch against the fire but this ain't winter.
And I'm all by myself the way I wanna be,
Where I'm content to be, to be all by myself.
And frozen eyes are bound to melt."
Silverchair: Luv Your Life
Love me
if you
dare...
14:24
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sorry...
I'm sorry. I know I went overboard. I promise never to do it again. I promise I won't fight with u like this again. I really promise you... never ever.
I just thought no matter what I say, you wouldn't go to sleep without leaving your com on, and like... ah, what's the use... I know it's my fault.
I'm sorry. And I know sorry doesn't make things any different.
=x
Just please don't be angry anymore?
Never will a smile appear on my face till I see you again.
Good night... =(
Love me
if you
dare...
00:45
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Sunday, October 07, 2007
This Sunday...
Today was much better than last week. Although the sermon didn't seem very impactful, I believe everyone gives a bad sermon every once in awhile... Not that the sermon was bad bad... Every sermon has its purpose, whether to teach or to remind or reveal something. So I guess today's was just a reminder. But no, that wouldn't push me away from ORPC. Haha!
I was wandering around after service, keeping my eyes peeled for Mel's parents or for Claire or Dominic or Benjamin (whom I can't differentiate). I thought I saw Mel's dad but I wasn't sure... this guy was wearing a pale yellow Nike polo-tee. Anyways, I was half-heartedly looking for the toilet, then this girl was staring at me and she went,
"Hi Kane! I recognize you from the photos! I'm Claire,"
and she extended her hand to shake mine. Haha! Thank GOD for good memory! But for a moment I was like, how come it's not because of my purple hair? Hahaha! But that's fine. Anyways, she introduced me to a few people then I told her I wanted to say hi to Mel's parents, so she brought me to find them. Saw her mum & shook her hand, said hi, but she was in the middle of a very absorbing conversation so I didn't get to talk to her much. Claire did ask if I wanted to join them for lunch... but ermm... feel kinda weird la, especially since it was only my first time there... I dunno. Maybe next week or something, y'know? Anyways, I took my leave and went home la. Didn't get to see Mel's dad coz he went for some talk over at YMCA, and according to Claire, I was too shy to introduce myself to Ben & Dom. Haha! Wha-a-at? I will shy one hor... =P
On the way home, someone from the zoo called me. I was asked to go down for an interview on Wednesday... so-o-o... yay! NOW I can put experience with animal handling in my resume to Scott O'Neill. Haha! *does a reverse upper-cut* YES!
Hmm... but if I start working, that means probably only weekends out, or only nights out... Maybe I even need to work on weekends! *sigh* I hope I get an interesting job... haha! Preferably with the snakes or the other reptiles... ooooo... hahaha! SO EXCITING!!!
Ok ok... I wanna go play NeoPets le... 10,000NPs, here I come!
Love me
if you
dare...
15:12
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Friday, October 05, 2007
Friday... again...
–noun
| 2. | a female of canines generally. |
| 3. | Slang. | a. | a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman. |
|
| 4. | Slang. | b. | anything difficult or unpleasant: The test was a bitch. |
| c. | anything memorable, esp. something exceptionally good: That last big party he threw was a real bitch. |
|
–verb (used without object)
| 5. | Slang. to complain; gripe: They bitched about the service, then about the bill. |
–verb (used with object)
| 6. | Slang. to spoil; bungle (sometimes fol. by up): He bitched the job completely. You really bitched up this math problem. |
[Origin: bef. 1000; ME bicche, OE bicce; c. ON bikkja
]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006. |
Yep! That perfectly describes the day... All except: 1, 2, 3b, and 4c.
3a) Someone whose temper is even more unpredictable than the weather. I'm inclined to sprout more maligning words but alas, I feel that it's really not me. Hell, putting up the word isn't me already... but I had to express what I feel inside, otherwise, like Vic, I'll just explode.
Anyways, this someone totally took me by surprise, and it totally spoiled my day. Hence, #6.
I couldn't take being cooped up at home anymore, so at 4 or so, I changed & decided to stroll to Ang Mo Kio Interchange... With the weather being so hot, I decided to buy a Hip Hop Jelly ice-cream to cool my walk. But with the weather being so hot, my Hip Hop jelly started to de-freeze and the jelly itself started to liquify. Left with no choice, I had to gobble up the icy jelly & let it slide down my parched throat. Ni-i-ice... haha!
Anyways, I had 3 goals to accomplish at AMK Central.
1. Get a Sketch book or something to paste my photos in as a portfolio.
2. Check out if the old MS Color is still at the big Jubilee S11 there.
3. Buy breakfast cereal.
Didn't accomplish #1 coz I decided I needed to know how many photos & how big first.
Checked out #2 so I can bring Anqi there if she's still on about it tmr.
Lastly, went to NTUC Hypermart to get my Blueberry Morning from Post.
That last task was a bitch... as in #4b. They didn't have anything at all like what Woolies or Coles had. The best-looking ones that vaguely resemble Australian breakfast cereal were from Post, and they were really quite expensive. Was deciding between a maple syrup one, a cranberry one, a honey oat one, and this blueberry one. The scrooge in me won, so I got a 382g Blueberry Morning, which was a crazy $5.01! Also bought a 200g pack of mixed fruit pieces in case Blueberry Morning wasn't as sweet as I'd like it to be.
Anyways, strolling alone within the hypermart made me think. It just didn't feel the same. Huge as it was, variety-wise, NTUC is nothing compared to the smallest Woolies or Coles. Then again, maybe it's just the things I would buy. And at the breakfast cereal section, all the boxes were so puny! The biggest pack I could find didn't exceed 500g! And the most expensive pack I could find was Apple Jacks (which was and will probably always be my favourite (strong competitor being Crunchy Nut Clusters)) at $8.72 or something like that.
Anyways, my thought was that, maybe I didn't need to shop for my daily needs, that's why it feels so different. Or maybe it's the people I go shopping with. Here, I feel so... empty... so... useless.
So alone...
*sigh*
It's taking longer than I thought for Brisbane-sickness to go away. Withdrawal symptoms. Heh. The weather isn't helping. The church atmosphere isn't helping. The missing isn't helping. Though I have enjoyed myself with some old friends here, something's still missing. I'm just glad to be kept somewhat in the loop of things back in Brissy. Found another vacancy & I'm really hoping I'd get accepted.
Was telling both Joannas and someone else the other day that it's really damn hard to obey GOD when HIS plans are against your own plans. Nevertheless, we need to learn to obey HIS will because we humans are short-sighted.
GOD help me... =(
I think u must be quite bored reading about my missing Brisbane and the people there. U can choose not to read u know?
Love me
if you
dare...
22:55
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
Night Shoot turned Mad Shoot!
Heya! It's been a good few days since I last blogged.
Monday was a good job done... sticking dance mats on the floor of a studio in Stamford Arts Centre. $20 an hour! Haha! Beat that man!
Anyways, the main entry I have today is about last night's night shoot in the city area. Doris joined Joanna & myself in the end, so it's 3 crazy people taking hundreds of crazy shots! Of course, I got take the normal architectural shots la... without people one... but I guess it's the human element that makes photos fun & interesting eh? =)
Raffles Hotel front entrance... grand decor, grand cars... haha!
The pair of chopsticks in the middle of the city!
St Andrew's Cathedral, or more affectionately dubbed, SAC. Haha!
The CBD area from the Padang. Remember eons ago I had the same shot but in the daytime?
Oh, this was the back side... of Suntec and the rest in the area...
Haha! Tried the same thing I did with Jessica in a not-so-dark Singapore... and both Joanna & Doris were SO amazed at the effect... hahaha!
Did a heart shape for both of 'em...
This is Doris' attempt at a heart shape too...
Ok, we spent too much time light-drawing, so we took a group shot where I turned out ghostly...
Took another one so I'm not so scary. Haha!
Hey, look what's happened to the IR area! The amount of cranes... gosh. I'd think that was the bird-park!
Hahaha! This is Simin saying that she's a hot babe and men shouldn't touch her! =D
Crazy as we are, we had to bear with the pricks & thorns of the bougainvillea for this shot. Haha!
K, obviously... the Merlion... ran outta saliva...
Another group shot... See how Doris & Simin's right arms were parallel? And Simin & my left arms are parallel? Hahaha! K, lame...
I dunno what they're trying to make me do here except to prove my butt is sexy? Hahahaha!
Oooo! Muji marshmellows!
More Muji marshmellows!
Even MORE Muji marshmellows... or should I say, no more Muji marshmellows? Haha!
Fullerton Hotel from the Anderson Bridge...
Some nice romantic restaurant by the smelly river of Singapore. *yucks + contented sigh*
Fullerton!
Oooo! Bull-riding!
And the after-effects...
Haha! The human tripod! Well, technically, it's the human bipod... or even more technically, biped.
Oh yes... Fullerton was our last stop... coz it was damn late already... 1am was it? =)
All in all, it was a great night out. You really missed out on this Bernice... =) But nevermind... we can always do this again... haha! Yay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you believe I've been playing NeoPets again? For a week now? Well, a week or so now... haha! Actually, I think it's only been 3 or 4 days... =P Hahaha! And well, I've been getting 10,000 NPs per day out of games! How cool is that? I've never been SO into NeoPets before... Upped my bank account a notch... more interest! Yay!
K, I should stop yakking... Go play too! And if you get bored, give me your items and your money! Yay!
http://www.neopets.com/
And if you wanna add me as a NeoFriend, my username AND pet name is "nyloncar". Yes, it's a weird name, I know... don't ask me...
K, gonna watch Spongebob Squarepants now. Toodles! =)
Love me
if you
dare...
13:09
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/bɪtʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[bich] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation 
