Colorless

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Fine, it's me.

It's not that I don't wanna share. I just don't like to feel vulnerable k? But I guess I need to learn to open up. I know it's fundamental in a relationship.

And though I hate to be predictable, I have to admit some things about me are just so predictable. I'm not different from any other guy to break down and analyze am I?

So yes, it was me. How did I do it? Before everything started, of course. So yes, if you feel the need to thank me, you can do so now. Otherwise, I just wanted people to know that someone cares for them. I don't expect, nor do I ask for thanks or praise. I don't want people to know because I don't want people to say oh, I'm just doing this because I want everyone to see how nice I am and how much time & effort I put in and everything. I am unable to show care and concern in person because you know there are just some people whom you can talk to more than others... because of common interests, common topics to talk about, interesting differences etc... Anyways, I give up. Y'all don't have to guess anymore. It's me.

I don't know who it is this time round... obviously it can't be me. I'm back here in Singapore. So looks like I'm off the hook. Go back to your guessing game then. I can't help u now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Am I really working too hard? Is a couple of OT hours putting my health at risk? I know I have never told you the nature of my work in detail... I'm sorry about that. My bad. So lemme tell you now...

I work in a warehouse. I pack cosmetic orders into boxes to be delivered to wherever... Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, blah blah blah... and of course, locally, it'd be the department stores the likes of Isetan, Takashimaya, OG... And with Christmas coming up in a couple of months, where Christmas sales and promotions flood the windows of shopping malls, stores have to ensure they have enough supplies for the crazy shoppers of Christmas time. So apparently, this is a busy period in the warehouse... we need to pack alot of cosmetics to ship around the world (well, not literally of course).

Yet, you can often find me standing around, looking for something to do. It's not very nice to just sit somewhere or stand somewhere blankly, waiting for people to ask you to do something then u do right? Ok, maybe some people have absolutely no qualms about that, but I feel guilty, I feel bad for getting paid for nothing! And with lazy, incompetant, stupid people around, things aren't as gleeful as I am. It's a boring mundane job, but it still needs a high standard of work what! Why can't they let someone more enthusiastic do the work? Hell, I bet I can do the work of myself and that other guy la... yet, I'm always left with nothing to do. I might as well quit since they don't require manpower as much as they think they do... Tell me, or tell them, if you think that way too, Pinky...

Thus, my ex-decision to work overtime as much as possible, to earn the 150% of my salary, and to actually contribute to the company... to make up for the waste of time in the day, as well as the waste of salary on me. But it's ok, really. I can shut my conscience up and work just the normal hours and be completely guilt-free. Guys can do that y'know? Compartmentalized emotional thresholds... just like girls have compartmentalized stomachs...

So yes, I'll work OT till 7, latest 8 tmr... then never again, k? I'm not spiteful... really. I just don't understand. And I'm sorry too that I didn't explain it to you clearly before. But I'll not work too much ok?

*hugs* Good night... sweet dreams... Nathaniel maybe? =)

Love me if you dare... 00:49
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