Colorless

Monday, May 12, 2008

Down in the Dumps

It's hard not to brood over life's shortcomings.

For the past 4 months or so, I've been cooping myself up at home everyday after work, in an effort to save money. On Saturdays, I've been spending time with nature and my camera, and going to the flea markets next to Sim Lim. And also Sim Lim, of course. But otherwise, it's home again for me.

And what can I do at home? Well, I suppose I could've done alot of things, but I chose to stay online and have cyber relationships with online shop owners and other no-life geeks on various forums. Of course, there's the occasional job hunt which would usually get me down in the pits because there'll be no matches on what I wanna do.

This morning when I was changing, a thought crept into my head. I've been working at the bank for so long without doing anything significant. I suppose if I were a lazy no-good bummer, I'd be content to stay on in this bank, getting paid what I'm paid, doing what I'm doing now (which isn't much, really) forever. It's enough to live, I guess. See? I've already saved up more than $5k. That's not alot by most standards, but it's the most ever for me. I've never ever exceeded the $2k mark in all my 25 years of miserable savings life. Yet, with all that money, I cannot buy the things I want, I cannot splurge on myself, because I need the cash to go back to Australia to hunt for jobs. Maybe limiting myself to Australia is a bad idea. Probably the US or even UK has better positions open? Let's see... if I go to the States, I fear being robbed by the poorer community, or getting caught in a New York City movie style crossfire between thugs and cops. Really. UK, I wouldn't be able to survive there for long with the amount of money I have, unless I have a guaranteed job position before I go there. How?

Fantasizing on the further continents, who do I know there? US, there's Mao's brother whom I've never met before. A-a-a-and... no more? UK, the only person I know is my jie, who's doing her PhD now in Milan, Italy.

*waves hands to clear the thought bubble*

If I weren't attached, I wouldn't mind taking my chances anywhere in the world. Imagine the variety of creatures I get to come into contact with! Wow! But let's not let imagination run wild. The fact is that I'm attached. So my more viable options for the next few years would either be Singapore or Australia. So now, I shall look for jobs once more...

*sigh*

Life is tough.

Love me if you dare... 10:48
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