Colorless

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Need... blog...

I think I have come to depend on blogging to vent my frustrations. And today shall be a cumulative vent.

Couple of days ago, I received an email from CSIRO telling me that they have found better candidates for a job. In other words, I have been rejected.

It's really quite demoralizing, no matter what I know in my heart. I know that GOD has a plan for me, and I know that GOD's plans will be better than mine. But I just find it hard to convince myself of a better plan when all I get are rejections. I know I need to have more faith in GOD, to trust in HIS providence and HIS will, yet, I struggle at that and try to squirm my way around. I guess faith really is a test of actions more than just lip service.

This arvo, I had already changed and packed my bag to head out and spend some time at some place where there's free aircon and free internet and free electricity. I also arranged for some guy to meet me at Toa Payoh MRT at 12:30pm to sell him my film scanner. Ha! 人算不如天算indeed! A water pipe that feeds to my washing machine and my bathroom taps suddenly sprung a small leak. Upon trying to seal it with plumber's tape (that white useless thingy), I inadvertantly loosen the already-loose piping, creating a larger leak. Pissed and hot and sweaty, I continued to try and wrap that stupid white tape around the leak, hoping aginst hope that it would somehow stop the water from dripping. Suddenly, the pipe just gave way and a huge gush of water spewed out... There's nothing to stop it! And the whole kitchen's gonna flood if this continues! Can you imagine, I'm all changed and everything, prepared to go out, and the water just kept splashing on me. Urgh! Plugged my thumb into the pipe opening to stop the water from spewing, and I had to use alot of force to keep the water in, which made me wonder how a stupid length of white plumber's tape can hold that pressure in. The pressure was so great that with one hand, there's still water leaking from the sides! I had to use both my hands and press really hard to hold the water in. And the pipe had jagged edges, so it cut my skin abit. Then with considerable effort, I jammed one thumb onto the pipe and reached for a pipe to channel all that water into the bathroom instead. And with all the water that flowed down the drain, it made me even more depressed to think that after all my scrimping and saving, eating plain $2 lunches EVERYDAY, all the money I saved is just going down the drain like that while waiting for a plumber to arrive and fix the situation.

This really sucks.

Anyways, Uncle Jianxi arrived with a 2-level wrench and twisted the mains shut. I have to say it was agonizing sitting in a pool of water that's flowing non-stop in my going-out clothes, with a cut on my thumb. Regardless, I quickly changed into a new set of clothes and rearranged for another meeting time to sell my scanner.

I will not go into the details. Anyway, I ended up at the flea/black market next to Sim Lim Tower again, looking for the uncle who sold me the 10-pack film last week. Found him but he didn't have any film this week, so I essentially went down for nothing. Went to SLT but didn't have any motivation to make any projects, so didn't buy anything. Went to SLS and looked for film scanners, and realized I still didn't know enough to make a decision there and then. So again, left the place without anything. In the end, I bought some snacks from ABC shop at Bugis Village, then headed home. Singapore's got nothing to do.

I think I shall go to Peirce tonight to try out night macro... Not too late... maybe just 9 or 10+... Then again, I might become too lazy to go out even.

Life is monotonous and boring and unfulfilling. Is it that hard to get a job that's your passion? Is it so hard to get a job you like?

Life sucks...

Love me if you dare... 19:04
0 thoughts on this post

----------------------------------------