Colorless

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Jealousy

Sometimes I get extremely jealous of Charles and Jono. I know you keep saying that Charles is just a good friend to you. And I know he says that too, and that he says he doesn't like u in that way, and that you don't like him in that way too. But I just can't help feeling negative about him ok? I can't explain it... I know you think he's a nice guy, no, a VERY nice guy... and so do alot of people. So what? I don't care whether he's nice anot lor.

I guess it's also cause he can be there with you and I can't. You'll say alot of people are there with you and I can't, so why am I prejudiced against him only? Because it's him I feel insecure against. It's a combination of factors that make me feel the way I feel towards him.

*sigh* I know I'm childish. But childish or not, I still feel a kind of hatred towards him.

Sometimes I wish you wouldn't tell me anything at all about him. But because he's such a big part of your life in Brisbane, I want to know what you do with him and what you do without him... just... what you do in general. So it's like... argh!!!

Hai... nevermind me... just go on with your happy life k? I don't want to add on to your worries and concerns. You'll never read this anyways.

Love you...

Love me if you dare... 20:24
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Shut up!

Maybe I should just learn to keep my big mouth shut. And keep believing in my rationality than in my feelings. So far, rationality has proven to be far less troublesome than emotion. So why the hell did I give in to my feelings?

Bloody idiot.

And I hate him. I really hate him too. Because he's making you so upset that you can't even enjoy yourself properly. But I have to pretend to be his friend when I meet him. Shit... Luckily I don't chat with him at all on MSN.

Love me if you dare... 02:48
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