Colorless

Saturday, September 27, 2008

*sigh*

Is it very unreasonable of me to say that I hate him?

I hate him for always being there for you physically. I hate him for always wanting to hang out late into the night but not willing to fork out the money to take a cab home or to go stay at someone else's home. I hate him for always staying over at your place when he knows you have a boyfriend! And I also hate that he's stealing you away from me!

When you said you wanted to go over to his place to stay for the night, can you imagine how hurt I am? You know full well that I don't like him staying over already, yet now you're asking if YOU can stay over at HIS place? I don't understand what you take me for can.

Unfortunately, I don't want to lose you so easily, and I know you need someone who can be there for you... and that someone is definitely not me. I could've not gone for supper with the guys and come home and listen to how your day was bad and shitty and all, but no-o-o... you want to stay over at his place so you can talk about it with him, not me.

Well, that just really hurts. But do I have a choice? Nope. I don't have a choice because I am not so selfish as to make you go home and feel so controlled or friendless and miserable just so that I don't feel jealous. So I reluctantly let you go. And all this while, it hurt so much that you knew I don't like it, yet you could still ask me if you can go over to stay.

I don't know how much more of this I can take you know?

I won't be able to talk to you until Wednesday now, because you have camp. And he's gonna be there at camp too, and you can talk to him all night through. It'll be so romantic under the magical sky of Australia... all the stars... the cold wind...

Oh man, I swear I can so swear right now!!!

I think I should go get drunk. Not dead drunk... just drunk enough to lie and drown in my own sorrows and pain.

I totally utterly hate Charles... I don't care if he's your best friend. I hate him!

If we ever get married, you can invite him to our wedding, but I'm not gonna talk to him.

ARGH!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER HATED ANYONE THIS MUCH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! SERIOUSLY!!! DAMNIT!!!

Love me if you dare... 01:35
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